I Love/Hate being an Introvert

"Definition: Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."

When introverts want to be alone, it is not, by itself, a sign of depression. It means that they simply want the time to be with their own thoughts. Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.

Being introspective, though, does not mean that an introvert never has conversations. However, those conversations are generally about ideas and concepts, not about what they consider the trivial matters of social small talk." -About.com

I have such a love/hate relationship with this personality trait. Yesterday I went out with a whole bunch of people to cave mountain lake. It was fun, I met new people. However, I have difficulties constantly hanging around people and going up to people to talk. Now I did it, I went up to people to talk, but I had to push myself to do it. A good friend once told me that I make friends passively. It's true. I'd prefer people to come up to me and talk because then I feel more comfortable.

I am not shy, in fact there are times when I talk like crazy. I have social skills, I'm just a person who prefers to stand back from a social gathering and think. I think a lot, but when someone asks me what I am thinking, its difficult to put my thoughts to words.  It's almost like there is a translation barrier.

Also, I have discovered an extrovert side to me lately. I love to hang out with people more these days. I don't know if it is because I am finally done with all the stress of school and I have nothing else to do other than go work, but it's interesting. I have always enjoyed hanging out with people, just not to this extent.

Either way, I hate being an introvert because I enjoy hanging out with people, but I sometimes have to push myself outside my comfort zone in order to be with friends. I love being an introvert because I'm not a loud obnoxious girl, I love thinking about things, and I don't have to rely on always being out with everyone to be happy.