My inspirations for blog posts have gone missing lately. However, there are random times like today when something just hits me in the face.
In the past year, my relationships with certain people have been on roller coasters. Whether it be disagreements, misspoken words, deliberate actions, or other things . . .
It is plain to see that relationships in general take a lot of effort to make last. I consider myself a very forgiving person. When someone does something that hurts me, I tend to forgive that person as long as that person is legitimately sorry.
I won't go into names or details, but I feel as though I forgive others, but others do not forgive me for the mistakes I have made. I never looked at it like that until today AND it is really bugging me. I don't understand why I can regret something and try to make up for whatever I screwed up, but never be forgiven. I would like to say I just need to move on and that it is their problem. However if someone doesn't forgive me, I tend to hold on to a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can't quite explain it. It makes me hold onto my regrets for a long time, if not forever. I say that because I cannot think of something that I was able to let go of in a situation like this. Who knows, maybe I am meant to suffer longer for the mistakes I make.
Hope everyone is doing well. I apologize if I haven't kept in touch with some of you.
So I've noticed that I have changed this past year. I have been a little mean to people by being more truthful and straight out blunt with people. I met a person that introduced me to this theory and it has stuck with me. The theory (if it really is a theory) is that if someone does something wrong, let them know straight out that what they did was wrong or else they will continue to do that action. I did this to someone yesterday. It was stuff that happened over years, but it felt good to not keep things built up inside me. I ended up making this person cry, which was a shock. I expected the person to just get upset or angry. I must say that I now believe this person is immature. I used to be a person who would let things slide and never say anything. Now I don't like making people cry, but I believe that people deserve to know the truth about their actions in life. I think being honest is the best thing a person can do. Whether it is a complete stranger, an acquaintance, a good friend, or the person you are dating/engaged/married to, honesty goes a long way. It helps a person think about their actions and how it effects others around them. Who knows, maybe honesty towards someone can help that person be a better person, friend, etc. I think that we all try to avoid any kind of conflict to a point that we are then stuck with that person repeating the same actions that bugged us to begin with. The longer we are not honest with someone, the more that person thinks their actions are perfectly okay. Then, the day you do manage to get the guts to say something, that person has gotten away with their actions for so long that they won't change what they are doing.
So if I am a little mean through my honesty, I apologize. It isn't meant to be hurtful, I do it because I care. I care about how we all treat each other.
There are times in life where you have an awakening. Today was one of them. I've been going through a rough time lately (hence the lack of blog posts). I sat down today and asked myself, "what happened to the fun in my life?" And I'd give anything to have fun again. So I sat, I thought, and realized that I have let all the bad things in my life consume my whole being. Sometimes when you grow up and focus on the adult things you miss out on the opportunities of going out and enjoying life. I don't like taking a magnifying glass to the thoughts of me still being jobless, not having many friends here where I live (most of them are at college still), and the thought of being stuck at home doing nothing almost everyday. I want to awaken the inner child in me, go out with the friends I do have around, and just have fun. Of course I need help in this task. I can invite people all the time to go out to eat or to have fun. But it does me no good when people reject my invitations. I think most people in these bad economic times have lost sight of important things. Like going out and enjoying the company of others. I'm not saying we need to lose sight of the serious things going on in life, like paying bills, rent, doing well in our jobs. I'm just saying we all need to set some time aside to enjoy the things in life. Whether it be family, friends, doing certain activities. Anything will do. Just don't come home from work (if you have a job) and sit on your butt watching TV, playing video games, going to sleep, etc. Also eliminate the non important things that bring you down. Eliminate your contact with negative people, you don't need them to bring you down. Just my thoughts for the day.
This song is one of my favorites these days. It's a great song that starts off kinda weird (church organs), then goes into a great beat, then ends on a very beautiful note (almost like a orchestra).
So it's been over a month since my last post. Not much has been going on, but I'll give an update. Still looking for a job, bowling, and exercising. I visited my college last weekend. I needed to get away from home for a little while and catch up with the friends I left after I graduated. It was fun and I also got to see my 2nd family in Staunton. I missed and still miss everyone I worked with this past summer. I also joined a new bowling league. I was bowling normally on Tuesday and a guy came up to me with a proposition of joining his team on Thursday nights. I can't tell you how much I debated joining because it does cost money every week. So I joined the league and the people are really fun to bowl with. My teammates are really nice. I did however establish a 195 average. I've always known that I was a better bowler at night, but I was kind of hoping my average would be a bit lower. Oh well, I'll have fun no matter what.
Meanwhile it is getting colder outside and I'm a person who gets cold very easily. At least the trees look pretty changing colors. Also the new Office season started and I love this bit on planking. I always thought planking was dumb when I first saw it online. I love how Dwight takes care of the plankers.
So the exercising is going alright. I had a little set back last week when my bad knee started acting up. I've lost 2lbs and my body fat % is down by 3%. I feel a lot stronger and feel very accomplished so far. I never expected to see a ton of results right away, so I am right on track with my expectations. I find that listening to music helps me a lot when I exercise, it keeps me motivated and allows me to keep going without quitting.
Fantasy football is also going on. I was asked by several people to do fantasy football/other football pools. I only wanted to do one and I ended up doing it with my family. The first week I sucked. My players had an off week or something. I lost to my brother-in-law. He had Ray Rice, Drew Brees and one WR who each got 20+ points. That killed me. Otherwise his team didn't do anything. In fact he had 2 positions where he ended up with zero points and his defense received -3 points. Even then, I could not beat him. My players were only getting 4 or 5 points each. Oh well, hopefully this next week will be better.
Bowling is also pretty big in my life at the moment. I've been bowling like crazy. I did have this nice man come up to me and give me a few pointers. He said I was a great bowler, but needed to work on a few rough edges to my game. I've been trying out his pointers and seem to be improving. Tuesday, I was a substitute on a league and had to establish an average. I ended up bowling a 544 set which put me at a 181 average. It would have been higher, but my knee started acting up the last game. I didn't want to start off too high of an average because it would have been hard to keep up with. I think a 181 average is very reasonable for me and I hope to get better.
One of my favorite scenes from the office. I love michael's face when jim goes "ding dong":
Well I never thought this time would come, but I am really out of shape. I have always had a high metabolism and have never struggled with weight. At the moment I am NOT overweight. I have been at a constant weight of 125lbs. for at least the last 4 years (Funny story when I had to go to the doctors last, they had to weigh me and they asked me how much I weighed before they did so. I told them 125 and sure enough they told me "you were right on the money").
Now to be honest with you, I think 125lbs is a little too light for my height. According to my height my target should be 140. I think that is a little high. It is also known that the height to weight ratio is not 100% accurate because people have different body types.
My goal therefore is to gain at least 5 more pounds. Not of fat though. Muscle is key. I exercised the other day and have found that I am really out of shape. I feel like I have lost every single muscle in my body over the last 2 years. My muscles have decided to switch to fat. Okay I know muscles don't decide to do stuff. I blame myself for being out of shape. I know right now there are a ton of people thinking "oh shut up, you are lucky to be in the shape you are in." It's true though. I am lucky to be in the shape that I am with no effort at all. Maybe it's because I have good genes???
Anyways, my plan is to exercise my legs one day, then the next day exercise my arms. Of course then I would repeat. I do not want to go a day without exercising. I'll let you all know how I am doing after a few weeks.
So everyone knows by now I love music, but I also love Wade Robson as a dance choreographer. Here is a dance he choreographed on the show "So You Think You Can Dance." Pretty amazing in my opinion. The song is interesting. Has anybody else noticed that over the past several years zombies have become extremely popular? Either way, if I were to become a zombie one day, I would want to dance like this. =)
So many of you know already that my internship came to an end yesterday. 10 weeks flew by so quickly.
I remember walking in June, 6th not knowing what to expect. On top of that, I only knew Frank and Vladimir (the other interns) from classes and was really only acquaintances with them. First person we met was Sherry from personnel. Then, we jumped right into out first morning meeting with management because it was 8 a.m. We introduced ourselves and I was a little nervous because there was a lot of things that they said that I had no clue what it meant. One thing I learned was that our company had terminology of its own and thankfully I was able to learn all of it before this internship ended.
Moving through the first weeks, we were trained by a wonderful person named Terri. Then, I was thrown into Produce with a great department manager and a bunch of amazing sales associates. One thing I came to appreciate was all the hard work everyone has to do to maintain fresh produce.
Then, we experienced the worst, CBLs or Computer Based Learning. I hated them. In fact, there were several times when I kept dozing off to sleep. Speaking of which, after my first 3 days I had a dream about work. Guess what I dreamed about. Of course, it was more of a nightmare because I dreamed that I kept falling asleep at work and I actually sat up in bed in the middle of the night thinking I needed to wake up. No joke, but that was the first of many dreams about work.
I definitely learned from the best of the best. From our zone managers, our department. managers, our assistant managers, our co managers, our store manager Jim, and of course all of the sales associates. Everyone was so helpful and nice to us. I honestly felt like I was a part of a family. I was able to get to know a lot of people. I am proud to say I was able to work with the best people. They are what made my internship one of the most memorable experiences I will have in my life.
Lastly, there is Frank and Vladimir. Definitely two interesting characters, but definitely two hard workers. Frank absolutely loved hanging out in Sporting Goods. We should have just pitched him a tent there to live. He is definitely a quiet guy at first glance, but he shocked me on some of the things he said. Definitely a funny guy and a fellow Office fan. Vladimir... What can I say about that guy. We had our differences and struggling moments. One thing that Frank and I learned was that time means something totally different to him. We figure it is a Dominican thing. We also felt like we had to put a GPS system on him. When we had to go out and learn something he would just disappear EVERY TIME. It was frustrating. He is a great guy though and definitely kept things interesting to say the least.
Overall, I had the time of my life. I never thought a job could be so fun. I will never forget the people I met and learned from. I fell in love with the company, learned as much as I could in 10 weeks, made some friendships, and gained a greater appreciation for everyone who works day in and day out to make that company successful. I will definitely try to visit store #1344 whenever I can.
